14 Comments

"you can learn that the best defensive device is a pair of shoes you can run in"

When I was younger and left the house more often, I'd always run up and down aisles in stores when trying on shoes to make sure I could run in them (including heels). Most of my shoes in my 20s had straps or were easy to kick off for this reason.

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Yeah, but you're like me. Defense-minded. Other people think we're weirdos.

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I highly recommend this article by Lauren Hough on going to gay bars for the holidays. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/22/opinion/club-q-colorado-springs-james-dobson.html?smtyp=cur&smid=tw-nytopinion

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Thanks for the great info!

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I signed myself and my two adult daughters up for a brief self defense workshop for women a few years ago. It was wonderful and truly empowering, but I realized not extensive enough training for us. Awareness of your surroundings and trusting your gut we’re emphasized and I think very important. That said, I would still really love to learn to levitate!😂

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I got to play the bad guy in those classes. It's fun when you get someone who is shy about striking to open up and really beat the hell out of you. I don't know how I can still laugh at that "100 ways to attack the groin" video. I'm probably sterile from being a punching bag...

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That was really funny! Thank you for the article as it reminded me of how much better, more confident, I felt after learning some self defense techniques. Will look into classes. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Happy Thanksgiving! And I’m so glad that you’re thinking of going back to classes. I hope they are as empowering now as they were the first time!

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Thanks so much for this, Tom. I’ve just reached out to my local Krav Maga studio, fingers crossed. I’ve walked towards violence before but since I don’t really know what I’m doing I’m not that helpful & I’d like to be.

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If you want any advice about what to ask, etc feel free to reach out. Krav tends to be very welcoming because it is taught to everyone in the Israeli military, so it's designed for dealing with stronger foes. My advice would be to go watch a class. They should offer this, and maybe even a free class or more. Sometimes these places have Groupons. But they should have training for beginners. You'll be elbowing people in the throat in no time. 😁

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"If you ever meet a pro boxer, try to touch them. (I would ask first.)" LOL. Solid advice!

There's a group you've probably heard of called Pink Pistols that advocates self-defense, particularly firearm ownership & carrying, in the gay community. Their motto "Armed gays don't get bashed" cuts right to the point. I have no problem with that & used to be deeply involved in promoting gun ownership options among left-wing communities (Pink Pistols isn't left-wing themselves to be clear). I burned out after a point from repeated dead-end arguments with gun ownership absolutists on both sides--no guns allowed ever vs no restrictions allowed ever--and stopped going to my shooting club a few years ago after it turned into a MAGA club house. When I first applied for a concealed carry permit, the state I lived in required extensive training in deadly force laws & a had a practical component where you had to prove you could actually hit a target (far different than hitting a person, let alone one that's armed and moving, but better than no requirement). Currently, too many states have done away with any requirements for concealed carry, with predictable results, and now any idiot can carry, and too many do.

But beyond developing a personal attitude and skills for self-defense, I think the community aspect of self-defense is really what needs to be stressed. First, see something, say something. Yes. And have cops who actually follow up in arresting people and taking guns away from the violent. But beyond that, having a gun holstered in the small of your back isn't going to save YOU personally if someone suddenly appears with a high-powered, semi-automatic rifle in your face (ownership & carry of THOSE is a whole nother topic, tl;dr: IMHO civilians should not have weapons of war). But you could use that pistol (or Krav Magra training) to save others, which is more what concealed carry, and I think to a point martial arts training, is really about: community, collective security. Having the confidence to step in, and the ability to intervene with force if necessary when those around you are threatened. And the first part of that is no longer putting up with the bigotry of our friends and family, or even strangers, since as we've seen snide comments lead to hateful comments lead to stochastic terrorism. Babbling, I guess. Tired of daily murders and massacres all around, worried for...for us all.

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I agree with you on the Firearms points, but I left them out because I am tired of talking about it. I looked up Pink Pistols locally to train people who wanted to learn, but like most orgs in the 2A field, they can't leave politics out. There is Local range that makes you join the NRA to become a member, so I'll never use them. If we ban Firearms, they can have mine. Until then, I will train to use them.

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Ha, rambled and lost my point. (Not unusual!) It was COLLECTIVE action, someone stepping up to save others that ended the attack in Colorado. Same point you made.

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That's the thing. Not everyone needs to train, but if no one in our group does... I don't think the violence is going away in 2024. I think it will get worse once the head terrorist loses again.

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