Plucking Around

For the week of March 28th 2022

It’s April Fools Day, traditionally one of the worst days to spend online, so you won’t get any of that here.

I visited three ghost towns in the Pine Barrens last weekend, and I’m writing it up for Sunday. It’s very exciting to have a new hobby. The pandemic killed my interest in martial arts, and I’m not sure when I’ll want to struggle with people indoors for exercise and enjoyment again. It’s something I recommended to everybody; whether you care about self-defense or not, if you find the right place to train, it’s a great combination of exercise and socializing. But I can’t imagine doing it now, even though I recently braved an indoor restaurant, and have not tested positive. I’m not pushing my luck. It’s safer out in the Pines with J.D. He is still distancing.

I read a good short story called “Jackpot” in the latest issue of Orion; it speculates what medical care will be like, if “personal belief” becomes protected as religion, which it very may well be, if the United States continues on its anti-science path. It’s for subscribers only, but the magazine is worth a sub for the great articles, poems, and photography.

Another great read is Lauren Hough’s Dust Bowl story, “Ripe Peaches.” She really pulled me in to the era, and what it was like for people who stayed on their land during that environmental catatastrophe. I’m very glad to see more writers using Substack as a short story publishing engine.

I also enjoyed Lost Luggage by Wendall Thomas. It’s a very funny, sexy caper in the vein of Romancing the Stone, about a Brooklyn travel agent who gets tied up with an animal smuggling ring as she flees on a trip to Tanzania to escape her Italian-American family. It’s short, snappy, and fun. I started reading The Baron in the Trees by Italo Calvino, which I’ve had on my shelf, along with his experimental novel If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller… for oh, twenty years, easy. I’m enjoying it as well. It’s whimsical, odd, and fantastic; set in Italy at the turn of the last century, it’s about a young baron’s child who decides to live in the trees of the estate rather than eat what he’s told at dinner. Cosimo travels into the neighboring estate by branch, and meets Violante, who is also escaping her family. How did I learn about this book? From an online text adventure, an AberMUD, that I played in college. The characters Cosimo and Viola were brought to life in the trees, and would spout lines from the novel as they attacked you. The programmer must have liked the book. If Italo Calvino only knew. Here is some fan art by pro illustrator Alessia Trunfio:

I’ve been getting back to websites that aren’t social media. Reddit, which is heavily moderated, is much better than it was five years ago. I mostly read Am I the Asshole?, the South Jersey sub, a few nature subs, but it’s refreshing when compared to Twitter (but what isn’t?) I also joined a Subaru forum and a Pine Barrens forum, and with this return to Substack as a blog, it’s like 2009 up in here. Luckily I have not been able to find anyone running a rogue AberMUD, or I’d be off in one of those, too.

I didn’t read too much on the web this week; I’ve been too busy looking at Pine Barrens maps. There’s been a lot of damage done in the state forests that encompass the Pine Barrens by off-road vehicles like ATVs and dirt bikes. They like to spin out and make deep potholes. ATVs are illegal in every New Jersey state forest, not that you’d know from the confusing signage. Or from the dealers who sell them. I drove up a legal trail where the sign reads: “Motor Vehicle Laws in Effect!” and you need to look up the statute online (which I did) to find out that it means “no unlicensed, uninsured vehicles,” aka, no ATVs or dirt bikes that you can’t license for on-road use. One fascinating thing about the area is how quickly it reclaims land. It rewilds itself.

The concept of rewilding is gaining hold, but not always for the best. With invasive plants and species, it’s not as easy as not cutting your lawn. I don’t do much myself. I don’t believe in “weeds” so I let dandelions, clover, and purple deadnettle grow freely in the yard for the pollinators and the big fat groundhog and the fearless bunny who sometimes sneak under the fence. This guy inherited a bunch of land in Ireland—which, thanks to our love of Kerrygold butter and a belief that the country is somehow more environmentally wholesome—is now an ecological disaster thanks to overfarming and development. He’s rewilding a huge, well-tended piece of farmland, and the farm culture hates it. At least he stops the fox hunters. It’s not banned there, either. Royal cosplay rich twits need to be fed to their own hounds. The curse of Actaeon would be appropriate…

Zillow Gone Wild on Instagram is a constant source of horror and entertainment. This person really liked Stranger Things, as the whole ‘80s day-glo nostalgia trip hidden within its mundane confines feel skewed to the aesthetic of the TV show, with a little Beetlejuice and Goosebumps for spice.

Enjoy your weekend…