88 Lines About .44 Magnums

for Noir at the Bar, hosted by Dennis Tafoya

88 Lines About .44 Magnums

by Thomas Pluck

Some people call Florida “America’s dong,” but that title belongs to the .44 Magnum.

You’ll know this if you ever hold one.

Like Budweiser is the King of Beers, the .44 Magnum is king of Big Dick American guns.

So what, the .38 Special has a lame-ass band named after it.

Hold on loosely to a .44 Magnum and it’ll crack you upside the head for disrespecting it.

Even dumb shit Ted Nugent wouldn’t call his band .44 Magnum because he could never live up to it.